Ashes 5/31/15

There

Sitting on a shelf

In a pretty pink 

Marble urn

Are the ashes

Of a life

The ashes of 

A miracle

I wasn't supposed

To have

A sign of hope 

That was never 

Meant to be mine

So she was called home

And all I have left

Are the ashes

The ashes 

Of all my hope

All my love

All my heart and

All my soul

Are there...

In that box

In ashes

Falling Away 7/10/15

I feel it all
Just slipping away
Like I'm standing in the rain
Trying to catch the raindrops
And I'm losing it all
Bit by bit
Feeling it all
Slipping through
My fingertips
I think I got
Too close
To having
The life
I never believe
I deserved
So close
That when it all
Fell away
I was left
Trying to hold on
To a yesterday
That no longer
Wants me

Someday 5/11/15

Do you not see
What I see?
Can't you see
Where this path
Of hatred and
Misery ends?

Someday
Our
Daughter
Will
Hate
You

Someday,
She'll be able to see
All the texts
All the calls
Every attempt
That I've put forth
To simply be
A part of
Her life

Someday,
She'll read
Every bit of
Malice,
Every vicious
Slur
Every ounce
Of bitterness
That you've
Thrown out
Not in her defense
But to make yourself
Feel better for the
Wrongs of the past
And YOU will
End up
Choking on
The ashes
Of the destruction
You've incited

When she sees that
HER DADDY
KEPT HER MOMMY
AWAY

She will hate you for it....
Can't you see that?

Seven 5/5/15

She's gotten so tall

So lanky

Skinny and 

Sweet

She smiles 

And the world 

Can't help 

But smile with her

She turns seven today

And no matter how many 

Texts 

No matter how many

Voice messages 

I've sent

Or how much I've 

Begged and threatened 

I'm still

Not allowed

To spend it

With her

I have court backing

And still

He's kept us apart

Still puts me in this 

Story as a monster

But I don't see it that way

And from the looks of things

Neither does she

So Happy Birthday 

My Sweet Irelynd

Mommy does love you

And wish she was here

No matter what anyone

May say to the contrary