Reaching 8/12/18

Exhaustion
I feel like my world
Is imploding around me
And I have nothing
Left to fight for

I've successfully
Destroyed
Every relationship
I mistakenly
Allowed myself to
Enter into
And I find myself
Alone again

The darkness
Closes in on me
From every side
And I find myself
Searching the
Maze for someone
Something to hold onto

And I find I'm clutching
At nothing
Reaching
For someone
Who seems just
One step away
With every step
I take in his direction

Whiplash
As he loves me
Then he hates me
And he doesn't see
How much
The insults
He carelessly
Tosses around
Leaves scars
On what little is left
Of my heart

The heart I tore off
My sleeve
And handed him

Him 5/9/2018

And so it begins
I've been given
A true gift
A chance to feel
What love is supposed to be
And know without question
That I'm loved in return

I'm completely
And totally
Terrified

He's woken up a part of me
I didn't know still functioned
Inside of me
I didn't even know
It still existed
Because I thought
I had killed
Every part of me
That could become
Vulnerable
Again

And I was wrong
Because I handed him
The only pieces of my
Heart I still had
To give
To his safe keeping
Because he is showing me
What love
Is supposed
To feel like

Which Way is Up? 11/18/18

I am so lost
I can't find the
Me
The Bre
I want to be
Because I don't
Know who
That even is
Anymore
I look in the mirror
And I see some crazy
Bitch I don't
Recognize