Ferocity 2/23/16

I miss you
More than
Mere words
Could ever
Express

Endlessly
Forever
I will love you
And in the words
Of my father
I'll be here
Praying
That you'll
Want me
In your life
When you're
Old enough
To understand
The situation
I created that
Tore our world
To pieces....

You one way...
Your sister another...

And me
In the middle
Missing you both
With a ferocity
That brings me
To my knees

Black Sheep 2/15/16

They gather
The happy family
In celebration
Of one thing
Or another....
And they laugh,
They tell stories
Hug children
Share woe's
Filling in
The spaces
Between this
Gathering
And the last...

There's so much
That I could share
With you
I could laugh
With you
Hug the children
Fill in the spaces...
The empty places
Because it's been
So long since this
Gathering
And my last
With you

But my invitation
Must have been
Misplaced

For the past
Six years

Deathbed Confessions 2/10/16

I had a dream...
More like a nightmare
That I was laying on my
Deathbed...
And you all stood
Stoically beside me
Looking down at me
Eyes filled with
Judgement
With
Disgust
Hatred

And one by one...
You turned
And walked away
Again...

Until just one remained...
The one that turned her back first
The one who led the charge
Away from my "drama"
My "issues"
The one who made it
Okay
To throw away
A drowning loved one
When she needed her
The most...

And with a sneer
You spit on me
And pulled the plug
Yourself...

Just like you did
Six years ago...

And the crazy part...
Inside the
Insanity that is me...
My deathbed confession
Is this

I would give anything
To simply have you
Tell me
You still love me
If you even do...

Until Now... 2/9/16

It began with a look...
A passing glance
Mutual attraction
Mutual infatuation
It began just as
Normal and as
Benign as could be...

But has grown
So big...
So big...

I thought I knew
What love was
What a true relationship
Was supposed to look like...

Until I was able
To look beyond the pale
And see for myself
What I crave in my own life...

Two people
Who have literally
Walked through fire
Crawled through hell
And battled the world
To be where they are today

Two people who know
The others heart
Without a single word spoken
Who can read each other
Finish each others sentences
Be together every moment in the day
And still crave more time
In each others arms....

I thought I knew what love was

Until now...