Friday, October 30, 2015

Becoming 10/30/15

I don't think
I like
The person
I've become
Along the road
I've stumbled down
I think
I lost
My soul
Because without you...
Without any of you...
I am
Lost inside
This misery
Of my own
I've gotten so
So cold
That I almost
Who I'm

Friday, October 9, 2015

One of Those Nights 10/25/15

Having one of those nights
Where I miss a life
That no longer wants me
Missing the girl
I tried so hard to be
And failed so

Missing the life I had.
Missing my children
About as much as they
Now despise me.
Missing the woman who
Woke up smiling everyday
That I have never been

I find myself sinking
Into the madness of me...
Hoping like hell
That this time
I'll drown
Because I've successfully
Lost everyone I care about
And not one of them
Would even mourn me

Monday, October 5, 2015

How 10/5/15

How do you begin
To make amends?

How do you
Begin to heal
The pain?

I want nothing more
Than to have been
Able to be there
With you
For you
Because I know
You were scared
Even though I know
How strong you are.

I know I miss you
I know I think about you
Every single day
I know I can't stop
The tears that fall
Every time I think of you
Laying in a hospital bed
And telling them that
You didn't want me
To know
You didn't want me there.
When you went through
Something that big
Something that life altering.
Something that could have
Taken you away from me

I have lost one child
That I will never hold again
If there truly is a God
I will hold you again