Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Penance 3/25/14

How many times
Can a heart shatter
Before there's nothing left?
How long will this
Penance go on?

I miss you
Every moment of
Every day
With every
Every breath

You have decided
That you don't want
Me in your life
And the rational
Part of me can
Accept it

But knowing
That you don't
Want to talk to me
You don't want
To see me
Is slowly eating
Another hole
Another chasm
Of pain and
One that can't
Be healed
By anyone but you

Help me
I can't fix this
Alone anymore

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Anchor 3/15/14

I have been removed
By someone I love
More than I thought possible
They say that
When it rains
It pours
And they weren't
I'm tired of
Starting over
Tired of trying to
Find my way alone
I have never wanted
To disappear
More than I do
In this moment
I no longer have
An anchor to this
World that will
Allow me to hold it
Allow me to love it
What I have brought
Into the world with
Has either died or
Dicarded me and my love
Like garbage
And the pain of this loss
Is an ache in me
That I can't cover or contain
I am trying to make a life
But find I have nothing
To make it for.

Monday, March 10, 2014

The Someday

How do you find and fix
What's broken inside of yourself?
What makes someone
Get this broken?
I know that I deserve
A lot of what has
Transpired over the years
A lot of it I didn't
But I cant believe
That I can't be made
Whole again somehow
I am trying to be better
To attempt to fill the
Holes in my life
The voids that can only
Be filled by certain
Those I will have to wait on
For the someday
That may never come...
I know I have a reckoning
Awaiting me
One I yearn for
But fear in the same

The Middle

There you'd lay
All sweetness and innocence
Like a divider
Amid the turbulence
That churned constantly
Between us
Your daddy and I
You were the glue, you see
That held us together
And the loss of your light
Has put such darkness in me
I thought I knew
What darkness
Tasted like
Until I lost you
And now today
I feel nothing but
When I remember
The way I felt
When I'd lay in my spot
Just left of
The middle