Thursday, July 18, 2013

Penance... 7/18/13

I fully understand
That I have been given a gift
In one hand
And a knife to cut my heart out
In the other
I have come to see that
This pain I feel
From missing you
Has been my penance
All along
I have hurt
Everyone I love
With the exception
Of very few
And I am paying the price
For my mistakes
Every time my heart
Gets ripped apart
At the mere mention
Of you
And it's a pain I crave
Like a drug
Because I want to hear about you
About all that you're doing
Saying, and feeling
In my absence...
And I say that it won't be long
Before we're together again
Before you get to meet your
Baby sister
Who's given me such bittersweet joy
Without you to share it with
Without your knowledge of the fact
That you're a big sister now
I know that I don't deserve
Even a moment of happiness
After the hurt I have inflicted
On all of you
And if it makes you feel any better
At all...
Just know that I endure the pain
For all of us
Every time I hear about you
I am undone
Torn up inside
But this agony
Gives me hope

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