Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Eventually 9/18/13

So lost
So numb inside
So ready to just 
From the tsunami 
That has become
My waking 
I had you for nine weeks
And within them
I found what heaven 
Tastes like
And I ache so inside
An empty, gnawing ache
That I just can't fill
Not with drugs or booze
Or with the promise that 
It will dull in time...
That this pain will get 
Fuzzy around the edges
I can't seem to find 
The why,
Because there is no why
You were a gift I just wasn't 
Meant to keep.
Just a teaser of what life
Could be like 
If we were allowed 
To be happy

You left this earth
From the warmth
And shelter of my arms
You died in my arms
I will never allow forgiveness
For this ...
I should have been able
To save you
I should have known
That you were slipping away
That I would lose 
The light inside me

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