Saturday, April 25, 2015

Know How 4/25/15

I sit here wondering
What could make me 
Stop loving 
My daughters
Or stop loving 
My mother 
Or stop loving 
My sister
Or stop loving 
All the rest of the
People I once held
So close to my heart
And the answer flares
In front of me

I guess I just
Don't know how
To do it 

I wonder what could make me
Want to push them out of my life
Why they couldn't be bothered to 
Learn about my disease
Why they couldn't be bothered to 
Attend one Narc-Anon meeting
Why I wasn't as important to them
As they were to me

I guess I just 
Don't know why
They did it

I sit and remember
All the things that have happened 
That have led me to this place
And I still don't understand how 
A person can just stop 
Loving someone
That gave them life
That birthed you and raised you 
That grew up beside you
And loved you every day 
From then until forever

But I've learned love
Shouldn't come
With a set of conditions
And I wish I'd seen mine 
Before my contract was up

If there is any way to love
That isn't unconditionally 

I guess I just 
Don't know how

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