Sunday, March 6, 2016

Disappointment 3/6/16

1.) The feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.
2.) A person, event, or thing that causes disappointment.

It seems that every time we speak
You have some small way of cutting me
To the quick
Of making me feel
And normally,
I allow you to speak your piece
Tell me how no good I am
And feel like shit
For days following
The storm...

In the last conversation we had,
You decided the topic would be
How disappointed
You are
In me

How I've never lived
Up to your hopes
Your expectations
For me
And how I'm basically
Just a worthless
Bag of shit and
Broken dreams
To you...

But for once...
I decided it was time
To speak my piece...
To tell you
Just how disappointed
I am
In you...

That I have a disease
That you never bothered to
Learn anything about
And still believe I can
Shake off like a dog
Shaking off water

And when I needed you
To be my mother
When we stood in
The hospital
And we held my child's
Lifeless body
For the last time
When I needed
My Mother

The absolute most

You walked away


So here we are
Sitting and wallowing
In our respective
Letting them fester
Like infected wounds...
And it's getting us

So I'm done
Living with this pain
I refuse to allow it
Even one more corner
To rent space in my head
If  you can't swallow your
Like I've swallowed mine...
Then I guess that's your call...
I can't make you
Want to be
My Mother
Than I can make
You want me
As your

But I wish you could... 

1 comment:

  1. A amazingly sad poem. So torn with emotions of how I would feel in your shoes. You have a talent one that can reach alot of people. You are far from worthless. Keep up the good work.