Monday, April 15, 2013

Broken Life... 4/15/13

The life I have led
Until this moment
Has been so broken
So desolate
So unrelentingly
That I'm afraid
That if I take even
One more
Step in your direction
I'll break you
Along with
And I don't believe
I could take that kind
Of agony
So I sit here
Trying desperately
To resort to my
Past weapons of
Self preservation
And I'm finding myself
Unable to put up those walls
Against your sweet invasion
Your tender assault
I want to be whole for you
And I'm just not
I want to be the woman
You see
But I know myself only
As filthy and unworthy
Of such beauty
I have led a broken life
And I don't want to
Break yours as well
With my flagrant inability
To heal these wounds...

It seems I love you too much
And not enough
All in the single breath it takes
To find myself
Unable to piece myself
Too much to let go
But not enough to let go
Of this eviscerating fear
Inside of me
To take that step
The un-breaking

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