Home... 2/5/13

Do you know
How it feels
To wake up every day
And know...
Just know...
You're inherently evil..
You're no fucking good
You don't deserve anything
Good or pure this world
Contains..
So you shy away

I know how it feels
To know
With every breath you take
That you don't belong
Anywhere
That you don't adhere
To what society
Deems acceptable...
That you're not right
In any way
That matters

But here I am
Waking up inside
Finally feeling what it is
To feel safe
To feel loved
To feel some acceptance
To know that you've
Handed him your heart
And he won't let it shatter
Under the pressure
I have built up inside...
That he's the key
To what home
Is supposed to feel like

And the door stands wide
Waiting for me to enter...
And I want to
With all my everything...
But I am afraid...
To call it mine
Home is something
Most people take
For granted...
Home is a soft place
To fall
But when I fell
I hit the ground
And created the hole
I had to climb out of
In order to get
Here...

So here I stand
Terrified...
To take that step
To believe in something
To believe in someone
To believe in anything
Terrified
To come home
Because I don't want
To cross that threshold
So bloody
And broken