Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Sixty Dollars 10/15/13

Tonight I've had things clarified
So that there is no question as to why
Why I had to leave the home
That I was too afraid for months 
To call home
And was repeatedly told
That I would never lose
This home
The home I spent every waking moment
Of my precious Angel's life in
The home I moved into believing it was
A forever sort of thing
There is no such thing
As a place called home
But now I find 
That nothing
Nothing
Is forever
Starkly clarified
Why I have to make myself
Stop loving
The family 
I was told I was a part of
The people I cared about
And still do
Clarified very clearly
As to why 
The man I allowed myself 
To love more than I'd ever
Had in the past
No longer wants me
Not that he ever really did
Why he could look at me
Tonight
The way he did
With such bitterness
In the eyes I loved enough
To beg God to give them 
To my Kairi
So I can at least thank Him 
For that much... 

So when you're asking yourself
Why
Why I'm not here
Anymore
You can tell yourself
It was all about money
Sixty dollars
That put me 
In my grave
Because now,
I have nothing left
To lose
Everything else has been
Taken from me
So the next obvious thing
Would be my life
But I'm seriously thinking
That I'm going to take at least one 
Damn thing myself
And it may just be that.... 
It may just be that...

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