Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Immoral 6/17/13

I am not good
I am not a saint
Nor do I claim to be
Nor will I ever
I have loved
With my whole heart
But I've been unable to
Give what you need
Because I am still learning
How to be normal
How to live in this world
Without breaking down
Numbing out
I have been told that
I am immoral
And that doesn't bother me
Because I am immoral
I've had to survive in a world
That most people only ever live in
And I've had to fight
For what peace I have now
I have never fit perfectly
Inside of anyone's view
Of what life is supposed to be
I only just learned what it is
To be home.
To have a soft place to fall
And because I've had it ripped out
From under me
Because I've been cast out and left
To flounder and find my own way
I now know how precious
How meaningful that word is
If there was a way
I could let you see
Let you take a walk
Inside of my messed up
Immoral view
Of life...
Perhaps you'd be able to see
Perhaps you'd be able to grasp
Just how much fear
Lives inside of me
Just how much filth there is
Still clinging to me
From my past
And now
From my fear
Of the future

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