Saturday, June 15, 2013

Jillian 6/15/13

I'd like to tell you a story...
It's a story that has been playing over and over in my mind these past few months because of the new life I carry inside of me
But this story is special to me
One I'll never stop loving
One I'll never stop cherishing...

There was once a girl... only 19 at the time.  Feeling the most amazing life growing inside her... for nine months, she held you right next to her soul, feeling you move, feeling you stretch, feeling everything, every heartbeat.  She knew you'd be silly before you ever came into the world because of a little game they'd play... She called it the "foot" game.  You'd put your foot up and she'd run her finger down her belly and you'd squiggle around and put your foot back up so she could do it again... You'd play that game for hours...
You were dreamed about by everyone who loved you and you were named before you ever came into this world.  You were the joy of all those who loved you before your first breath was even taken.
She woke on August 18th at 3:15 a.m. exactly, and knew it was time... to meet you.... She endured your birthing the way a mother will, all the while knowing that she was about to be handed a miracle, and the most amazing moment of her life was when you came into the world.  At exactly 1:54 p.m., all the pain of birth was forgotten in that one moment... The moment they placed your little body on her belly and you gave the sweetest little squeak... just to let them know you could... and your grandmother set about cutting your umbilical cord... and you opened those eyes.... I swear Jillian, that moment is emblazoned in my memory like no other I possess.  I fell into those eyes and I drowned... And I am reminded every day, when I feel your sister moving inside of me, how precious every moment is.
Because from the moment they placed you in my arms for the first time, and I got to meet you face to face, I got to see what heaven really looked like.  And even now, very near fourteen years later, whenever I feel your sister move, I am reminded of you... And I just wanted you to know that I love you just as much today if not more, than I did then, and I always will.

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