Friday, December 7, 2012

Devil's Dance Card 12/07/12

Sitting here wondering...
Have I really changed
As much as I believe I have
Or is this just a game I'm playing
I know I don't want to play
The game of sobriety
I want to live the life
I'm tired of waking up sick
Feeling like I can't be touched
Because my skin feels as though
It's being removed
Wanting to end my pain
With every breath I take
With every needle
I shoved in my veins

But I no longer
Go searching 
For death
Because apparently
Either God doesn't want me yet
Or he's got plans for me
And I truly have begun to believe
It's option two 
On the dial.

I don't wake up sick
I love to have my children
Pressed close to my heart 
In my arms
As tight as I can hold them

I don't invite
The devil in
But somehow
I know he's there
Just waiting
For me to slip
So I've decided
To keep that suitor waiting
As long and as hard as possible
Because I love this life 
The way I feel now
And the devil can just 
Hold onto that dance card
Until it withers in his hand

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