Just 23 more days
Until I can wake up
And claw my guts out
Knowing my children
Are happily enjoying
Their Christmas bounty
Excitedly finding the
Treasures they've
Waited all year
To discover
Smiling
Laughing
While I bleed
My heart out
Onto the floor
Miles away
From them
Once again
Locked out
Of their lives
Because of my
Selfish choice
Two years ago
When everything fell apart
And instead of fighting
I allowed my insanity
My demons
To take what was left
Of my life
And now that I'm
Healthy
Now that I've found
My way back to sanity
I'm cut out
Deservedly
From their joy
From their excitement
From every precious moment
Leading up to that day...
And you wonder why
I hate holidays...
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