Removed 3/6/13

I have been so far
Removed
From life
Until very recently
I made the changes
That were so badly
Needed
So far removed
From who I am
In this moment
That who I've been
And who I am
Are like different people
One that I choose to be
From today on
And one I've left behind

But she follows me
She lives still
In the shadows
She's an ever present
Reminder
That being absent
From life
Is no life at all
And I've decided
That I'm done being
Absent
From everything
That matters to me
From everyone
I should have never
Removed myself from
In the first place
But I wasn't well enough
To be what was needed
Until I stopped
Listening to the screaming
In the silence of my soul
And I began working for
What I wanted
Instead of choosing to
Remain numb from life
Choosing to remove
Me from me
Until I decided
To choke my demons
Into silence
Instead of feeding
The beast I had become

A beast that reminds me
Daily
That to reconcile who I was
With who I am now
Is something I'll never
Allow myself to do
Because that girl
Is dead
Breanne has died
But Bre is here now
To stand
And receive the hatred
The disgust
I so deserve
For every mistake
Breanne made
In her quest to find
Hell
One she succeeded
In finding
One I'm still
Climbing back out of
And always will be
Until you are back
In my arms