Monday, November 5, 2012

Holy War 11/5/12

If you have been "saved"
You probably shouldn't read on...

I have no use
For you
I have tried
Time and again
To let you in
I've begged for your
Forgotten mercy
But all I've felt
Is empty
Unclean
Unworthy
Of love
I've felt
The holy war
Inside of me
As I try to
Understand
Why I wasn't
Good enough
To receive your
Grace
Your healing touch
It sounds like
A bull shit story
To me
Sounds like something
Made the fuck up
Because no matter
How many times
I've read about you
No matter how hard
I have prayed
You have left me
Bleeding
Breaking
I've been told that I
Can't ask your forgiveness
Until I learn to forgive
Myself...
So I guess
We've reached
An impasse...
Because
Forgiveness has been
Denied me
For so long
I don't remember
How it feels
I will never be forgiven
For the wrong I've done
I know that now
With every breath
I take
A blasphemy
And the weapons
You use to
Undo me
Are the sweetest
I've ever tasted

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