Monday, November 12, 2012

Kari Sue Fitzgibbons/Hampson 11/11/12

I remember you
From my childhood
As all I ever aspired to be
I wanted so badly 
To grow up
And to be 
Just like you

You never failed
To make me feel
To show me
How to feel 
On the inside first
And foremost
Where it counted 
The most

I lost that lesson
Along the broken road
I've called home
For so damn long
That I almost forgot
My own name
My own face
No matter how long
I stared into the mirror
Looking for sanity
Amid the complete
Of my existence 

All that I loved
All that I once held dear
Very sweetly
Turned away
When I needed them 
The most
But you need to know
I held the memory
Of you 
In a strangle hold
And refused to let go
Of the memories
Of the moments we shared
All the while I was
Working so hard 
On losing me
Along with all hope
Of a future 
Right along with  
Everyone I loved
And lost

I swear, 
I thought I'd completely 
Any chance
I may have had
To have you
Come into my life again
So when the night came
That the phone rang
And your beautiful voice
Caressed my soul
With a simple "hello"
From my childhood idol
My teenage image of awesomeness
My twenty's version of a real woman
My junkie's view of what I'd never achieve
To today's fear of rejection and heartache....

Kari, you are no longer
The person I view as perfection
Because now that I'm a big girl
And I've walked this broken road alone
And learned the lessons that my life
Has desperately tried to teach me
I know now that no one is perfect... 
We all make mistakes
Even childhood idols
So I've taken you down off the 
Platform of perfection
And I've placed you in this new 
Category that I've created
Because it fits how I see you now
More than any other
So I've got you filed cousin, soul sister, 
I now have you listed 
As one of my
Saving Graces 

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