Saturday, November 24, 2012

Sometimes 11/24/12

I feel so empty
So weak
So completely
Unfilled
Just like a shell
A dried up
Empty husk
So completely unwilling
To allow more pain inside
That I've begun
Hiding from life
From the things I see
Coming
From the lessons
I learned
Along the way here
My journey is not finished
But the path is so unclear
I'm trying to find
New ways to deal
With all I am
And all I've been
Without resorting
To my usual
Escape
But sometimes
Just sometimes
When I'm alone
Like now
I remember
How it felt
To tie off
To insert that
Needle
Under my skin
Searching for a vein
Straight into oblivion
And finding it
Was heaven
And hell
All wrapped into
One great big ball
Of agony
Of sweet numbness
Of complete and utter
Devastation
One more
Hole to climb out of
One more
Hole I dug myself into
And I know
If I fall this time
There will be
No peace
No coming back
From all that I'll lose

But sometimes...
Just sometimes...

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