I watch you
But you never seem to see
How deeply this
Ache is embedded
In me
I crave numbness
Like I crave nothing else
Especially today
I want to forget
Everything I'm not
Everyone I've been
Everywhere I left
Pieces of me
Behind
I just want to let go
Of this agony
That burns a path
Through my soul
Sometimes
I have thoughts
That I have yet
To learn how
To turn off
Thoughts of suicide
Of how it would be
So easy to just
Let it all just end
I know I'm inherently
Evil
So sometimes I think
It would be nice
To just let the devil
Take me home
One cc at a time
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