Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Letter to My Rapist 22 10/23/12

Just sitting here thinking...
I really have nothing new 
To say to you today...
Nothing that will change
What is... 
Nothing that will make
Me feel better about myself 
So here is what I will say...
I don't really think I hate you
Not as much as I used to
Because thoughts of that night
Used to burn so brightly in my mind
And now, it's just a memory...
Something I try very hard
Not to think about
But it never goes away
I think of you
And I immediately
Want to run to the nearest shower
And wash away the memory of 
How you felt inside of me
How badly you hurt me
Becomes almost real once more
And I feel spoiled
All over again
And I just 
Want you out
Of my head
I just want you

But I guess you'll never really be
Because even on a day like today,
When I don't have to have you on my mind
Thoughts of you show up unannounced and 
Undo me
Not the way it used to,
But close enough
To feel like 
You rape me again
Every fucking day
And I've become such a 
Bloodthirsty bitch
That I'm ready
I'm primed
For my revenge

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