Thursday, October 18, 2012

Reconcile 10/18/12

I'm having a hell of a moment...
Trying to reconcile
The weight of what I've done
And the realization of who I am

There's a monster in my head
That never shuts the fuck up
It's constantly telling me
All the things I already know

I know I'm no good...
I'm no good for my children
I'm no good for the man I love
I'm no good for the people
  I now call friends

But I'll be damned
If I'll let me take me
Away from any of them
Looks like I've become
A greedy bitch
And I'll see you in hell
If you think for a minute
That I'm ashamed
Of the things that made me
Stronger than you...

I can honestly say
I don't give a fuck anymore
To reconcile these differences
I'm done playing the meek one
The one so full of regret
It was seeping out of my pores
I'm so much more than what
You choose to see

I don't regret my life...
I regret some of my choices
But everything else is set...
It can't be changed now
So I use the experiences up
And make it into
The New Me
The one you look down on
But I'll be damned
It's hard to look down at someone
Who's clawed their way
Out of the jaws of hell
And come out smoking
On the other side

But I like watching you try...

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