Outside 10/31/12

I'm forever on the outside
Looking in
Forever looking at life
Through the looking glass
How much of this is real
And how much of this
Has been contaminated by
My inability to feel
Anything
Is there a way
To reconcile my past
With what I want for tomorrow
Is there a way to
Free myself from the
Bonds that tie me to you
I feel like I'm forever
On the outside
Looking in at a life
That I know wasn't meant
To be mine
I've cut myself to ribbons
Trying to beat back the
Darkness
But it's falling
Just like it always does
And I am failing
To make sense
Of anything
Again
Trying to hold on
To my sanity
With both hands
But I feel that slipping
Away as well
I feel like I'm
Falling away today
Like I'll never find
Something to fill
This void
Where reason
Used to reside
I'm on the outside
Looking in
At a me
I don't want to be
Filled to bursting
With bitterness
With hate
For the me
I never wanted
To see again