Thursday, October 4, 2012

Disgust 10/4/12

Do you know 
How badly I want
To be what you think
I could be
But how much
It hurts to know 
I'll never be
Can you put yourself
In my shoes
Can you understand
The insanity that
I keep inside
I don't believe you can 
I don't believe 
You should try
You think I'm worth saving
And I'm calling your bluff
I know better
I'm not worth the effort
I'm not worth your sweat
I'm not worth a tenth of you
And you should know that 
By now.
I just don't know what it's 
Going to take for you
To see me as I really am
You frustrate me to no end
When you pretend I'm someone 
I'm absolutely not
Nor will I ever be
No matter how you dress me up
No matter how many times you
Tell yourself that I could be
Someday better than this
You make me want to believe
But it's so dangerous for me
To believe in you
Because not one thing I've
Ever believed in 
Has ever come to fruition
Not one
And when the day comes 
That I finally prove that I'm
Just as I say I am
I'm just as unclean
Just as fucked up and 
Faithless as I told you I'd be
I don't think I'll be able 
To handle the disgust I'll 
See in your eyes
Disgust I deserve

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