Saturday, October 6, 2012

Letters to My Rapist 4 10/6/12

Here we go again
Seems like I've been 
Writing to you

My biggest issue 
Is that I've been able
To put you out of my
Head up until now
I've been 
Filling myself up on 
Heroin and hate
To stave off 
The emptiness

But things have changed

I've found someone
That makes me ache
To be whole
And I bleed myself 
Almost hourly
With the knowledge
That I'll never be
Good enough
Or clean enough
For him
Thanks to you

He doesn't see me
The way you did
The way I do now
Somehow he sees more
Than your filthy
Little fuck-toy

How I wish you hadn't 
Destroyed me

I'm here
Aching with the need
To punish you

I'll end up leaving this man
So that I don't taint him 
With the filth you left
Buried in me
So that he doesn't 
End up suffering
The way I do

And if that happens
Trust me
You'll learn first hand
What rape does 
To everything
You cherish
To everything
You are

That's one promise
I can make

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