Help... 10/3/12

Do you have any idea
What you've done to me?
What you've woken up?
Do you know what it's like
To simply not care?
How easy it is to go through
Your every day and just be?
How can you look at me
And not find me wanting?
How can you not see me for
The blood drenched bitch
I know I am
So now
How do I reconcile
Who I know I am
And who I want to be for you?
Here's my problem
I know what hides in the shadows
Of my soul,
The secrets long buried
I also know I could bare all
Tell you everything there is to tell
And you'd still see me the same
You'd still see someone worth
Saving
Someone worth
Something
But I know me
I know that I'd only
Break that faith
Eventually
So here I am
Back to
Terrified
I guess I'm at the point in my head
Where I don't know if I should
Stay
Or run in fear
I know I need help with this
I'm just afraid to tell you
To vocalize my irrationality
To let you see just how
Deeply embedded in me you've become
I know that I'd rather be
Living on the street again
Than showing you this new
Vulnerability